The Proof is in the Pudding

“You won’t know whether you like it until you’ve tried it.”   That’s the way our minds think, or at least the skeptical side of us. The I-can’t-accept-what-you’re-saying-until-I-check-it-out mindset. It’s “seeing is believing” and “actions speak louder than words.” Many of us won’t believe an idea or a story unless they’ve experienced it for themselves. So, I’m here to share some real life people stories that have helped me get it. It’s my Proof in the Pudding. Get what? The beauty of why we are here on earth. It’s all about:   Being Last is Being First.

Proof in the Pudding. I’ll start with myself. First Person Reality. I grew up in a very loving, typically mid-western 1960-1970’s home. I was raised by a bright and able mom who stayed home, and a dad who went to work everyday. They loved us and each other very much. We ate dinner together and talked. My older brother and I felt safe, cared for, and quite content. I had the luxury of challenging everything in my life. I’m a boomer – In the late sixties we boomers loved to get our own way and were spoiled in our safe environment…spoiled enough to proclaim that such a life style was too bourgeois.

Basically, we were selfish. I was selfish, and never knew it. I wasn’t outwardly and brazenly selfish. I looked and acted innocent, and kind, and thoughtful. But clearly, I loved taking on the challenge of proving others in need of my way of thinking. My thinking and actions were completely controlled by Suzanne’s mindset, not taking into account that others had worthy ideas. Fast forward a few years. I became successful in my own professional educational circles. I used the world’s system of recognition. People would value what I had to say. I proved myself to be knowledgeable, able, and talented in my chosen field. No one would have labeled me ‘The Selfish One’. In the world’s terms I wasn’t. My respectful but superior attitude oozed into my response to how I interacted with “church”. I wanted to share my expertise when I helped develop programs for children, said yes to leader roles for years. It wasn’t about my devotion to the God who saved me—it was about what I could offer them. So yuck!

Fast forward again. On the surface I was loving my work and good at what I did. On the inside I was becoming less and less concerned about my faith, or the people in my world. Then, whack! God confronted me. He got my attention. He almost took my daughter away–not once, but twice! My peaceful, confident, and joyful mother was taken home to be with Jesus. My marriage was rocky and struggling.

Wake! Up! Suzanne!

Sure, I believed in Jesus, but a relationship??  It was all about me. God gently and patiently led me to people and books that confronted my belief—and my attitude. I started to face my narcissism and confessed it. I was forgiven. A huge hunger for answers was left in the wake of confrontation. God found me ready to learn His Truth, The TRUTH. I started to take seriously the words in His Word. The process was very bumpy. It still is. While I was re-learning who I am in God’s eyes, He began to show me my purpose on earth. I found the joy of not being first. It’s all about others.  I found the Cure! It has been the proof in the pudding for me.

“Those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” (Luke 14: 11 NLT)

“Humility is not self-degradation; it is a realistic self-assessment and a commitment to serve.” (commentary)

Soon after my loving and life-giving confrontation(s), I began to love my work for a completely different reason: I wanted to serve these kids. I wanted to serve these teachers. I wanted people I knew to know they were important—because they are. I started to listen, really listen. Each person was precious and deserving of my very best. My goals changed. My attitude changed. My coaching and my teaching was to grow them, not to build me up. I longed for each person to feel valued and worthy.

Ah-h-h, it felt like being home. I’ve never gone back. I can’t. This is where I am supposed to be.

God’s actions spoke louder than my past. It was all the proof I needed. And it keeps getting better.

Seeing is believing.

“Look for the one with the servant’s heart and there you have found your leader.”  Ray Pritchard

I found this writing from a contributor to the website ‘What Did Jesus Say? while I was doing what I like doing best—research:

“God is to be the recipient of ultimate glory…Seeking glory for ourselves not only dishonors God (sin), but dis-unifies and destroys…I cried out to God, asking him to tell me about the great plans he had for me…And I remember to this day, he said to me: ‘Dave, I have no great plans for you. None at all. I don’t want you to be – or even aspire to be – “a great man of God”. I simply want you to do as many little things with lots of love over the long haul as you can do. I know that doesn’t sound great. It’s not great. But it’s good. I don’t need more great people, I need more good people. Okay?’” (my underlines) Dave Andrews

Wow! How freeing to know that God just wants us to seek one opportunity at a time, one person at a time. To be there for someone else—One. person. at. a. time.

Jesus taught this lesson again and again and again. It is not complicated. Lead by serving. The MVP’s of this world are those who go out of their way to be there for other people.

They are my heroes.  My MVP’s:

* My 97, almost 98 year old Dad, who struggles with walking and hearing these days, but goes out of his way to let everyone in his midst know that they are important. His humility, despite many great life-time achievements, humbles those who know him.

* His sister Virginia, who just recently joined the heavenly throng, was another proof-in-the-pudding example. She left us an incredible legacy. Her granddaughter Betsy shared evidence of her servant heart when we said our goodbyes:

With Gma, because she was so quick to serve and so cheerful to be behind the scenes, so unwilling to draw attention to herself, we could easily miss the depth of her character. The intentionality with which she lived…she had the beautiful ability to make the conversation about YOU.  Even in her last moments, as she was nearly ready to cross the threshold, her caretaker, Musa, came in. Squeezing between her bed and the wall, he positioned his face closely and directly in front of hers. “Virginia!  Open your eyes!”  And she did, though she hadn’t for most of the day. “HOW ARE YOU?” Her response was so HER, so fitting, and so defines how she consistently treated people. “Well, how are YOU?” Even in her pain she still turned it back to him. She never answered his question. That was the longest statement of her last day here.“Well, how are YOU?”

* The Air Force Captain who is giving and has given 18 years of his life to our country. He leads his men daily with patience and confidence; to be ready to go wherever he is called. At each homecoming he offers his little daughter full and complete attention. She KNOWS she is loved. Waiting for Daddy at the airport after a long absence, she can’t help but say, “I love him so much I think my heart will come out.”.

* Chuck Colson’s brilliant mind will be missed. But what he has done to set thousands free through his prison ministry and his calling to speak up for God’s Word revealed his servant heart.  He equated loving the God who saved him with serving others. Spending every Easter Sunday with his brothers in prison since 1976 gives a glimpse of his heart. In his book Loving God he saw faith as “not just knowledge but knowledge acted upon.” It is “not just belief but belief lived out.” For him, real faith, was “the cure to self-absorption and the way out of the prison we construct for ourselves”. (Eric Metaxas)

* Mama Maggie Gobran Maggie left being a successful marketing manager and a computer science professor at the American University of Cairo, when she discovered young children living in the garbage dump of the city. She ministers to the poor in slum areas and created Stephen’s Children to raise them up out of their despair.

* A friend who doesn’t stop giving of her energy, time, and gifts of organizing to voluntarily manage our food pantry which serves over 500 families each and every week. She values every volunteer and every family that walks through the pantry doors. With her skills and steel trap mind she could be a top administrative assistant anywhere. Her choice is to give it all to serve thousands of hungry people and to welcome others who want to serve.

* The husband that has chosen to feed, dress, bathe, and comfort his wife who is battling Alzheimer’s. He knows she likes to hear him sing and to listen to him read…so that’s how he gives back to her. She no longer knows him, or gives back love to him, but loving her with service is life-giving to him.

* This caregiver, Yvonne Russell, who gave this old, withering-away man a new lease on life. Her touch and her heart never gave up on him. She gave him music that brought him back to life.

* The upper middle-class couple who lives comfortably in my community and who has asked a frustrated teenage boy to live with them so he can finish high school and seek his dream of having a family and a job of his own. He is trapped in a dysfunctional, angry, dangerous home and sees no way out…these two people are offering him a way.

* Katie Davis – five years ago she just graduated from high school. Bright, beautiful, ready for the world. Instead, she found a need and started Amazima Ministries in Uganda and adopted 14 orphans and raised them—to give them love, to teach them Christ’s love.

I have many more heroes. The more I look, the more I find. Seeing IS believing!! Indeed, the proof is in the pudding. Soldiers, volunteers, caregivers, family members, co-workers, friends, strangers. There are thousands, hundreds of thousands of these people living in our midst. There are the famous ones, the ones who have caught the world’s attention like Mama Maggie, Chuck Colson, Mother Teresa, Katie Davis, and yes, Tim Tebow. But the world usually doesn’t know about those quiet leaders around you. They have found the Cure for their hunger to be First. They have found everything.

“Albert Schweitzer says there are two kinds of people. There are the helpers, and the non-helpers. I thank God that He allowed me to become a helper, and in helping, I found everything.” (All I Want Is Everything, Marion Mill Preminger; The Servant Heart)