When you hear the name “Tim Tebow”, what first pops into your mind? “Lucky?” “Honest?” “Gutsy?” or do you roll your eyes and say, “Here we go again?” He might have captured your heart or maybe you can’t wait for him to go away.
For me, his example of acting out his faith while living out his dream is pure joy and fun. But more importantly, he is modeling being REAL. You see, Tim Tebow is not a perfectionist.
Perfectionists need a REALITY CHECK. What is it about us humans that gets hooked in the trap of trying to be perfect? Is it in our DNA? Perhaps not, because there are some fortunate ones who are not trapped by this affliction. What makes the difference?
When I worked with my primary-aged students I saw in some students manifestations of early-onset perfectionism:
- Underachievement
- Paralyzing fear of failure
- Struggling with making choices
- Being never satisfied
- Demanding of self and others
- Hurdles were seen before cleared barriers were acknowledged.
- Teamwork and delegation of work was rejected.
It all started at Genesis 3. Deception of being perfect began with our ancestors:
“You won’t die. God knows that the moment you eat from that tree, you’ll see what’s really going on. You’ll be just like God, knowing everything, ranging all the way from good to evil.” (the Message, v. 5)
It looked delicious, they were hungry, and best of all, it would bring them to the same level as God! The Temptation was way too great. THE LIE was accepted as the truth.
THE LIE:
You can know and do everything God does!!!
God’s been lying to us!!!
Seeking perfection—not accepting being wrong and making mistakes, struggling with being a sinner, is at the core of THE LIE. You have bought into the deception. It’s about fear (I can’t fail!) And it’s about pride. “Pride – the lie that we can be what God called us to be through our abilities, our strengths, our efforts and our knowledge.” (God Speaks Today, Comparison Trap)
When you face your frailty it’s not a pretty picture. Paul struggled with this realit
y when he wrote:
“I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me.” (Romans 7:21-23, NLT)
Adults, like my students, may still tear up their work or never attempt to try something new, but perfection can seep into relationships and create an impossible standard for behavior. It destroys what God intends for you to be. It can send someone to self-destruction. Relationships crumble.
“Perfectionism is Faith in the Wrong God: Me Perfectionism is living in ultimate denial: that I as a deeply flawed, emotionally broken, spiritually fallen soul can be my own savior. Perfectionism is the by-product of love withheld or conditional love combined with unrealistic expectations. It produces a highly insecure human being who believes she’s never good enough or that she’ll never measure up. And, in spite of her best intentions, she finds herself holding others in her life to the same impossible standard. In other words, there is no possibility of moral flawlessness. No such thing as faultlessness. No—I want perfection. Period. This is our fallen human condition.” (Dan Blanchard, from God Speaks Today)
Paul has a great solution:
“Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 7:24-25, NLT)
My work was cut out for me when I encountered a first grade perfectionist. Encouragement and a lot of unconditional regard was vital to move him into a more realistic frame of mind. Again and again, experiencing the benefit of learning from being wrong became a gift and a blessing. You see, all through my life, through my amazing parents’ living a Gospel-led life, and God nudging me with His Spirit, I became free from THE LIE. Without my being aware of His work, I worked at revealing to my students the same unconditional acceptance and patience given to me.
Perhaps those who have escaped the burden of perfection have had the opportunity and the good fortune to be taught that ‘everyone makes mistakes’ and ‘let’s see what you can learn from your mistakes.’ They have been given the gift of forgiveness—lifted up with God’s grace. They seem to move forward and to improve—actually benefiting from not seeking perfection. This is exactly what God teaches in His Word–“I love you; you don’t have to be perfect; I can make you whole.”
And that is being REAL.
Tim Tebow is not a perfectionist, but he is a hopeful realist, especially when it comes to what he believes about what Christ has done for him. That’s why he wants to thank Him all the time. And…he has nothing to fear.
“Mom used to quote Isaiah 64, about waiting on the Lord. It doesn’t mean being complacent. It means understanding that he has a plan, and that we’re not the ones in control. In the meantime, we need to strive to use our gifts and abilities fully.” (Through My Eyes, Tim Tebow)
