A dishonest man spreads strife, and a gossip separates close friends.Proverbs 16:8
I looked up the word ‘gossip’ on my online thesaurus. Here’s some of the words I found:
chatter, hearsay, scandal, babble, blather, defamation, grapevine, meddling, prattle, scuttlebutt, dirty linen, back fence chatter, idle talk, bad mouth.
I don’t want to sound like this post is preaching at you. But I couldn’t let these postings leave out the most destructive ways we have seen The Tongue destroy. Satan clearly has gotten the upper hand through these villains. So I thought I’d share a little of what I found when I investigated gossip, rumors, slander, and bullying. I hope we all have red flags go up for them all.
Why do we get hooked with gossip? What is it that is so tempting? Is it to feel superior? Are we bored? Envious? Do we want to feel accepted? To be with the ‘in’ crowd? Are we seeking attention? Is it revenge?
I don’t have any answers. This I do know—just listening to gossip is luring, enticing, like over the top decadent chocolate. It calls out to me to forget the other, the one being maligned. It can be disguised as concern, or a desire to know so ‘we can help’. It can be disguised as a tease or a joke. Once I have spoken an ill word, it can never to be retrieved. I cannot remove the consequences of my words or gather them from the places they have landed.
Don’t bad-mouth each other, friends. It’s God’s Word, his Message, that takes a beating in that kind of talk. You’re supposed to be honoring the Message, not writing graffiti all over it. God is in charge of deciding human destiny. Who do you think you are to meddle in the destiny of others? James 4:11 the Message
If we say we never do this, we are lying to ourselves.
“You slander your brother, but God said to love your brother. You therefore act as if what God says doesn’t matter. We attack each other because we have abandoned God. We hate each other because we do not respect the Ten Commandments. We speak evil against each other because we think we know better than God. If God is God, then there will be no room for bitter words because you respect the Lord. You will hold your tongue because you want to honor the Lord. You will be careful with your words because you know the Lord hears everything you say. You will pause before posting that snarky comment…” Ray Pritchard
We all know the incredible destruction of bullying. We know how it has grown into the monster it is. Most bullying I saw with children and teens was not physical but rather verbal or relationship bullying. Verbal bullying can look like this: name-calling, teasing, taunting, insulting, excessive criticism. Relationship bullying happens when someone shuns you, refuses to speak to you, excludes you from activities and groups, spreading rumors and making you do things you don’t want to do.
Bullies and their taunts have plagued vulnerable children—and adults—from the biblical period to our own day. Bullying destroys those who are watching as well. Facts from Dosomething.org
- In the US, 1 in 5 students ages 12-18 has been bullied during the school year.
- Approximately 160,000 teens have skipped school because of bullying.
- Students who reported that they were frequently bullied scored lower in reading, mathematics, and science than their peers who reported that they were never or rarely bullied.
- The most commonly reported type of bullying is verbal harassment (79%), followed by social harassment (50%), physical bullying (29%), and cyberbullying (25%).
- 6th grade students experience the most bullying (31%).
- Students are less likely to report bullying as they get older. Only 39% of high schoolers notified an adult of bullying.
My name is Gossip. My cousin is Rumor. We come from parents who call themselves Slander and Bully.
- We have no respect for justice.
- We wound without killing. I break hearts and ruin lives.
- We are cunning and malicious and gather strength with age.
- The more we are quoted, the more we are believed.
- We flourish at every level of society.
- Our victims are helpless.
- Tracking us down is impossible.
- Once we tarnish a reputation, it is never the same.
- We topple governments and wreck marriages.
- We ruin careers and cause sleepless nights, heartache.
- We spawn suspicion and generate grief.
- We destroy people.
O please dear Father God, come after us with all it takes if we are using these villains in our talk. Change us forever. Protect us and our loved ones from such sin. Teach us how to use our words to heal, to lift up, to edify, to restore. amen