A Very Fine Line

A few years ago I got a phone call from the director of a gifted program at a local university, asking me to consider preparing a presentation to parents of gifted children about ‘Perfectionism’. Being the eager-to-please, liking-the-prestige-of-speaking-at-Northwestern idea, I said, “Sure!” Then the real work began. I am a research nut, and I began to delve into the topic with intense curiosity. The research uncovered an important truth—pursuing excellence is the happy cousin of striving for perfection. There’s a very fine line between the two. Nevertheless, it is a strong, life-changing line.

The goal of that seminar was to give the parents techniques and responses to their children (gifted kids are often struggling with perfectionism) when the parents saw them warring against making mistakes, not being always at the top of the heap, etc. My research uncovered sound ideas to encourage excellence through patient and faithful cheerleading. Parents could be key change-makers by turning the pursuit of perfection into striving for your best. It was suggested that parents could:

value realistic expectations,

promote perseverance,

give unconditional regard and respect,

value effort over results,

promote self-forgiveness,

show them role models in the home and in history,

encourage risk-taking,

offer them the benefits that come from helping others

A lot of the same cheerleading can be found in God’s Word. It’s that ‘keep going, you can do this’ hand-holding that can come when God speaks to me through His love, His forgiveness, His Spirit.

“I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, I can reach for: perfection is God’s business.” Michael J. Fox

When I began to investigate the same theories for Arise to Shine, but through the eyes of a person who seeks God’s Truth, I found that God’s Word teaches us :

No one can ever be perfect. (Romans 3:22-24)

Seeking perfection is trying to act like God. (I Samuel 2:2)

God wants us to seek excellence. (Philippians 4:8)

Excellence is possible. (Philippians 3:12)

It is a matter of teamwork and my partner is the Holy Spirit. (John 14:26-27)

Just as I found some powerful information to share with concerned parents about their children, I have found some powerful (and I hope, useful to you) statements about that very fine line between seeking perfection and seeking excellence.

“Perfectionism is a spiritual weight that directly affects the freedom promised to us in the Word of God…So, maybe excellence is more a pursuit of character qualities—the attributes of God, like virtue and love and justice and mercy…God cares a bout how we do things.  Whether it’s done well, or not-so-well.  But I think He’s much more concerned with the attitude behind the doing…That we see with spiritual eyes the depth of acceptance God has for us, even in especially in our messy condition. That we always remember, because we have been forgiven much, we can love all the more. That we finally and completely Embrace Imperfect—and then go in peace.” God Speaks Today, Freedom from Perfection

Somewhere I read that “perfectionism is the evil twin of excellence”. That seeking to be perfect is all about me, me, me. Seeking to excel is all about honoring God. Perfection demands to be right—all the time. It sets us up to be elite and to become very self-righteous. It will meet failure every time. Excellence is willing to change and to improve—to seek to be what God has made us to be. It invites us to be empowered, to be hopeful.

Perfection is motivated by the flesh. Excellence motivated by the Holy Spirit.
Perfection glorifies self. Excellence brings glory to God.
Perfection is rooted in insecurity. Excellence is rooted in a secure relationship with God.
Perfection is being seeking to be perfect at all times. Excellence is doing your very best at the level you are.
Perfection is running a race that never ends. Excellence is going the extra mile.
Perfection can not be obtained by anyone except Jesus Christ. Excellence can be obtained by the youngest or most mature Christian. Tim Forsthoff at Cornerstone Church

God knows we cannot be perfect. He sent us Jesus. But He desires for us to be the best we can be…with His help. Often you hear this phrase, “God loves you too much for you to stay the same.” That’s what excellence-seeking is all about. The more and more I read and learn from great scholars, from friends who seek to please God, from the Bible and the teaching it offers me, the more I find…

Encouragement, Forgiveness, Empowerment,

The Way towards Excellence

And that, my dear readers, is very freeing. I love how the Message paraphrases this freedom (Philippians 3:12-14):

“I’m not sayin g that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Chr ist, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.”